Is it really November 1st already?! Hope everyone had a great Halloween! I keep telling myself all the candy SG stockpiled will be for my baking stash, but we all know the peanut butter cups ain’t going in nothing but my belly!
Is she not the cutest baby butterfly you’ve ever seen?!
I’ve had friends check in on me recently about how I’m doing, and when it’s a friend who has experienced the difficulty of TTC my response lately has been, “Oh just taking things two weeks at a time.” That’s where your mind goes when you’ve been trying for quite some time. There’s a beauty in it but there’s also a sadness in it. The beauty is that in comparison to a year or years going by, two weeks seems like nothing. That’s how our cycles plan out. CD1 full of hope and starting fresh, wait two weeks for ovulation, ovulation occurs and then wait approximately 2 weeks for a negative or positive test and then celebrate or start back at CD1. Everything goes in a cycle of two weeks. The sad part of that reality is after lots of 2 week time increments go by you look at your calendar and realize a whole other month has gone by and now it’s November 1 and soon it will be December and then in February your little girl turns 2 and she’ll be almost 3 when you do possibly have a baby if you get pregnant soon. While that may not be my plan or on my timeline it most certainly has always been a plan of God’s.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts
Isaiah 55:8-9
When I find the weight of worry bearing down on me I must cling to this truth! Every time I worry “What if”, “But when” I am allowing doubt to creep in and forgetting who God truly is.
I read earlier this morning that if you know how to worry, then you know how to meditate. Rather than worrying over the stresses of infertility I must meditate on the wonders that God has done!
I have to remind myself what God has done for me. I know that is so much easier said than done, but when I allow myself to seek God I can only see His goodness because He is a good good father always. The Bible is full of stories dealing with infertility and how God triumphed over barrenness again and again. God does not show favoritism and if he did it for people in Biblical days, then he can certainly do it for you or me!
God has done a lot in the last week!
-My HSG came back with good results and showed clear tubes
-My AMH blood work came back with good news and showed that I have plenty of egg reserves left. (God provided me with a Dr. who checks this because some don’t buy into this but Dr. S stays very current and up to date with modern practices)
-I have not had crazy temper tantrums bc the femara has been much nicer to me than the clomid
-For the first time in over 2 years I ovulated on CD16!!!! For the past year my ovulation has been so late, mostly on CD21 which can cause so many issues. The femara really has
been a game changer! (Also the month I got pregnant with SG ovulation occurred on CD16, but I’m not getting my hopes up!….how do i remember that? Because I have all of my BBT charts saved in my app. I may be unorganized in every other area of my life but I am a master planner/organizer when it comes to inputting data on my fertility friend app).
-I have been so worried that only my left ovary ovulates for quite some time now. In the last 3 years I have never had ovulation pain in my right ovary, so it was a blessing to get the good AMH results back giving me the assurance that there are plenty of eggs. Y’all….I am so thrilled to say that this month the femara may have woken the right ovary up because I thought my right ovary was going to explode out of my c-section
scar on ovulation day! It’s working!! I should also add that this was the ovary that did not have any scarring on it so now our chances may be even better! That’s a God thing all the way!
God is at work and I can’t wait to see where His ways lead! Meditate on His deeds and you will come to a place of rejoicing!
Thanks for standing by my side and keeping up with our story!
Making a Myers 