Joy, unspeakable, joy

Monday….
Known to cause the blues. Mostly the least favorite day of the week.
Not this week though. Yesterday was the best Monday I can remember in a long time.
The day started off with counseling and then ended with an amazing appointment with our new specialist. Let me just say….
I LOVE LOVE LOVE our new Dr.
I was nervous when I got to the clinic because the electricity was out but they have generators to run all their procedural stuff so we were still able to meet in a part of the building with light.  The moment I walked through the door the staff made an impression in how welcoming they were.
Their Christmas tree was my first major sign of hope though. It was adorned in pretty blue ornaments and snowmen. They also had several ornaments that were words, and it was just one word all over the tree.
“JOY”
I hear ya God! Yes I know the word joy is a popular word this time of year and can be found on most Christmas decorations. But it just has never stuck out to me so vividly in past Christmases. And remember, Joy is our middle name for another girl, and full name means “May Jehovah add joy”.
I’ve heard Dr. V can be a little off the wall and quirky which can make for some awkward moments with him, and while he was a little different there was no awkwardness. I have never in my life met a Dr. who was so thorough in his questioning. He spent more than an hour talking to me. And I’m not talking just our medical history and issues. I’m talking life, careers, education, family stuff, insurance stuff, personal things. He even asked me MY opinion on medical issues with me and if I agreed with things and if I thought the approach to my care was what I would have done. Never have I ever had a Dr. ask for my opinion. While I may not like that we are dealing with secondary infertility I do really really enjoy the science behind it all. For the longest time, like 8th grade to college, I always wanted to be a medical examiner, like a coroner, yes, really. It really was one of my biggest dreams. I didn’t go down that path though and decided to go the complete opposite direction and try my hand out making desserts for a living. While that was and is still a passion of mine, I sometimes regret not following my original dream. But I still love science, and the medical field, and research, and understanding body processes.
At one point in our meeting Dr. V asked me about being a PTA, and I said “No I don’t want to become a doctorate of PT before you ask. I’m just done with school.” And he looked me in the eyes and said “I understand. I just ask because it’s very evident that you are extremely bright.” And at another point when asking me about my previous diagnoses of being anovulatory he looked at me again and said “Do you believe that? You tell me what you think. I can tell you are a thinker.” Y’all, I don’t think of myself as being someone who responds well to words of encouragement, but hearing these things from a physician for the first time in my life made me feel so respected and cared for. I have longed for a physician that will listen to me and talk to me. Dr. V did just that. We had real conversations about science and life and that made my day. I left that appointment not even worried about what we’re going through because it was such an enjoyable visit.
My prayer today is that I would open my ears and be more attuned to others and what they are saying because I realized what a difference it made to me to have someone listen to me so well.
We also discussed having a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). He asked me if it was my plan to have another C section and I told him I would like to try and have a VBAC and he commended that decision and believes more doctors should pursue them for their patients. He asked if my current OB is VBAC friendly and I told him about switching OBs recently to ensure that and he mentioned he had heard my old OB would not be.
He does think we will have a good chance being successful with IUIs. This further confirms my concerns with our previous specialist pushing towards IVF so soon. Dr. V said he has personally plotted the data on thousands of his own patients and seen success with our current sperm parameters. He would do IVF if we wanted but agreed that it is more invasive and can understand that if we have a chance with IUI why not continue with that option. We discussed the potential for IVF and I mentioned my concerns about having multiple embryos and discussed egg freezing as an option.
The great news is that he is willing to proceed with our IUI this week so we will not have to travel to Dallas. He listened to my concerns about last month and thinking our IUI was timed late and has also agreed to do my ultrasound Thursday. We will likely have our next IUI this Friday or Saturday, so prayers over that are much appreciated.
Sunday at church, there were some people praying with me and when we were done praying we talked about how it’s not always about the answer to our prayer, but rather the presence of Jesus in the journey. He has been in all the details and will continue to be. His presence in my life is stronger than ever right now, and that gives me all the joy I will ever need. I pray as we go into Christmas next week you all with have that fullness of joy as well.
Thank you all so much for your prayers yesterday, and the days preceding, and the days ahead. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!